Sunday, April 8, 2012

Never again!!!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

For the married couples : Its-hilarious

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband. 
"Miss" for one hour and "Stress" for the rest 23 hours! 

The are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman. 
Before Marriage and After Marriage. 

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. 
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't. 

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet. 
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In and Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out. 

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women? 
Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild, 
But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car... 

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years. 
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You. 
"The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife." 

Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle Wife? Google Search Result, "Still Searching`. 

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?" "Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?" 

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing...Husband: "MISSING YOU"... 

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It." 

The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?" 
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me." 
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?" 
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?" 
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know." 
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?" 
The Man Said "Yes" 
The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison" 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... 

Women are like phones: 
They like to be held, 
talked to and 
touched often. 
But push the wrong button 
and you're disconnected...... 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Thief spends less than wife : Its-hilarious

A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company

"Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright." 

"Yes," replied the man. "My card was stolen over a month ago." "Why didn't you report your card as stolen?" asked the card companyrepresentative. 

The man replied, "Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!" 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Result of Global Recession : Its-hilarious

Global Recession and Financial Crisis have become so critical and serious now days that…… 
majority of the men have started loving their own wives!!!!!! 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

2nd marriage??? : Its-hilarious

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?  

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the Same offence  

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

There are many reasons why pets are better than children. Go through the following list and decide for yourself. 

- Eat less. 

- Usually come when called. 

- Are easier to train. 

- Don't ask for money all the time. 

- Don't drink or smoke. 

- Don't hang out with friends who use drugs. 

- Never ask to drive the car. 

- Don't have to have the latest fashions. 

- Don't want to wear your clothes. 

- Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and 

- If they get pregnant, you can sell their children 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

punishment for shoplifting : Its-hilarious

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket. When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?' 

She replied, 'A can of peaches.' 

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry. 

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. 

She replied that there were six. 

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in 
jail.' 

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, 
and asked the judge if he could say something. 

The judge said, 'What is it?' 

The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.' 


More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8