Thief spends less than wife : Its-hilarious

A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, 

"Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright." 

"Yes," replied the man. "My card was stolen over a month ago." "Why didn't you report your card as stolen?" asked the card companyrepresentative. 

The man replied, "Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!" 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Result of Global Recession : Its-hilarious

Global Recession and Financial Crisis have become so critical and serious now days that…… 
majority of the men have started loving their own wives!!!!!! 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

2nd marriage??? : Its-hilarious

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?  

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the Same offence  

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

There are many reasons why pets are better than children. Go through the following list and decide for yourself.  - Eat less.  - Usually come when called.  - Are easier to train.  - Don't ask for money all the time.  - Don't drink or smoke.  - Don't hang out with friends who use drugs.  - Never ask to drive the car.  - Don't have to have the latest fashions.  - Don't want to wear your clothes.  - Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and  - If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

punishment for shoplifting : Its-hilarious

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket. When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?' 

She replied, 'A can of peaches.' 

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry. 

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. 

She replied that there were six. 

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in 
jail.' 

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, 
and asked the judge if he could say something. 

The judge said, 'What is it?' 

The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.' 


More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

The Lion's Mess : Its-hilarious

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone.  

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.  

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.  

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." 

More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Fifty bucks wager : Its-hilarious

Ed   and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would say, " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter " 

Norma always replied, " I know Ed, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is 
fifty bucks! " 

One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance" 

To this, Norma replied, " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks"   

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 

" Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! 
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars." 


Ed and Norma agreed and up they went. 

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. 

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, 

But still not a word... 

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, 

" By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.  I'm impressed! " 

Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Norma fell out, but you know, 

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!" 


More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

About Marriage! : Its-hilarious

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. 

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. 

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. 


More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

What you see is not what you get : Its-hilarious

Women Friends chatting in office. 

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours? 

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours? 

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale! 

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work. 

Husband 1: How was your evening? 

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you? 

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour! 

 More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Marriage or jail : Its-hilarious

A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. 

After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. 

"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" 

"Yes, of course," she replied. 

"Well, I would have been released tonight." 


More on:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8