Understanding Women : Its-hilarious

Understanding Women

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?" More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Who is a successful man and who is a successful woman : Its-hilarious

Who is a successful man and who is a successful woman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

marriage secrets : Its-hilarious

Secret to a long happy marriage

An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio sitting with her husband and she says: "I don't know how I could ever live without you" Her husband asks "Is that you or the Wine talking?" She replies " Its me talking to the wine" More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Water in the carburetor : Its-hilarious

Water in the carburetor

My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is." I asked her what it was and she told me it has water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator." "No, there's definitely water in the carburetor" she insisted. "OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?" "In the lake!" More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

The break in : Its-hilarious

The break in

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

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Passenger side windbag : Its-hilarious

Passenger side windbag

Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats. Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, 'It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruisecontrol and a driver's side air bag. 'Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, 'Who's that?''Oh, ' said Steve with a grin, 'another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!' More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Difference between a new husband and a new dog : Its-hilarious

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? 1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. 2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train. More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Perfect Couple : Its-hilarious

Perfect Couple

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfectwedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the Eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into theirvehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the only survivor? If there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

A psychiatrist becomes the patient : Its-hilarious

A psychiatrist becomes the patient

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got the following reply. "Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?" After staring blankly with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied: "Move over!" More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

This is the worst day of my life! : Its-hilarious

This is the worst day of my life!

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8