Saturday, March 10, 2012

Coke addict!!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Understanding Women : Its-hilarious

Understanding Women

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!"

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . .

." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

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Who is a successful man and who is a successful woman : Its-hilarious

Who is a successful man and who is a successful woman


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


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marriage secrets : Its-hilarious

Secret to a long happy marriage

An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio sitting with her husband and she says:

"I don't know how I could ever live without you"
Her husband asks

"Is that you or the Wine talking?"

She replies " Its me talking to the wine"

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Water in the carburetor : Its-hilarious

Water in the carburetor

My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."

I asked her what it was and she told me it has water in the carburetor.

I thought for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator."

"No, there's definitely water in the carburetor" she insisted.

"OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"

"In the lake!"

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The break in : Its-hilarious


The break in

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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Passenger side windbag : Its-hilarious

Passenger side windbag

Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats.

Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, 'It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruisecontrol and a driver's side air bag. 'Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, 'Who's that?''Oh, ' said Steve with a grin, 'another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!'

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