There were three construction workers and each of them always ate the same thing for lunch.
1st worker : "I'm tired of sandwiches it's always sandwich, sandwich, sandwich!"
2nd worker : "I'm sick of tacos! urgh..."
3rd worker : "Ahh how i hate beans! I eat them everyday!"
The second day it was the same thing for lunch.
1st worker : "If tomorrow I get sandwiches for lunch I'm going to jump from that bridge and kill myself!"
2nd worker : "One more taco and I'm jumping off that bridge and killing myself!"
3rd worker : "Beans again? If there's beans for lunch tomorrow I'm gonna jump from that bridge and kill myself!"
And yes, as always, the next day they had the same thing for lunch. So all of the three men jumped from the bridge and killed themselves.
The wives of the men were really sad and were crying for their husbands.
1st wife : "I would've never packed him sanwiches for lunch if I knew he would do that!"
2nd wife : "I would never had packed him tacos if I knew that would happen!"
3rd wife : "I wouldn't pack him beans if I knew that would happen but I don't get why he did that since he packed his own lunch!"
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
If I have to roll my my own cigarette, so does she : Its-hilarious
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers. cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.
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A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers. cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.
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should be buried or Cremated? : Its-hilarious
Man receives telegram: Wife dead - should be buried or Cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Who is a Psychiatrist? : Its-hilarious
A qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, which your Spouse gives you for free, daily.
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You have my sympathy : Its-hilarious
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said,
"I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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"I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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Wife got ready in 10 minutes : Its-hilarious
Johnny Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the train station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river. Look, my suit is still damp. Then I ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
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Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the train station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river. Look, my suit is still damp. Then I ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
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