Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Passenger side windbag : Its-hilarious
Passenger side windbag : Its-hilarious
Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats.
Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, 'It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruise control and a driver's side air bag. 'Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, 'Who's that?''Oh, ' said Steve with a grin, 'another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!'
Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, 'It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruise control and a driver's side air bag. 'Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, 'Who's that?''Oh, ' said Steve with a grin, 'another feature, my passenger-side wind bag!'
More on:
Difference between a new husband and a new dog : Its-hilarious
Difference between a new husband and a new dog : Its-hilarious
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
More on:
Perfect Couple : Its-hilarious
Perfect Couple : Its-hilarious
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the Eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the only survivor?
If there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
If there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
More on:
Lecture Tour with A Difference : Its-hilarious
Lecture Tour with A Difference : Its-hilarious
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.
As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
More on:
Husbands, lawn mowers? : Its-hilarious
Husbands, lawn mowers? : Its-hilarious
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time. .
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time. .
More on:
Four weddings : Its-hilarious
Four weddings : Its-hilarious
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a 'funeral director.'
After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director.
The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers.
With a smile on her face she explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director.
The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers.
With a smile on her face she explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
More on:
Please don't talk that way : Its-hilarious
Please don't talk that way : Its-hilarious
"A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, ""Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money.""
""Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way,"" his young wife exclaimed. ""You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please... tell me what I can do?""
""Well,"" the old man gasped, ""you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."""
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, ""Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money.""
""Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way,"" his young wife exclaimed. ""You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please... tell me what I can do?""
""Well,"" the old man gasped, ""you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."""
More on:
Marriage : Its-hilarious
Marriage : Its-hilarious
| Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence, a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/ http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/ |
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Marriage : Its-hilarious
Marriage : Its-hilarious
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence, a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Difference between COMPLETE and FINISH : Its-hilarious
Difference between COMPLETE and FINISH : Its-hilarious
A man went to face an interviewer.One of the interviewers asked him, Tell us the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED
The man replied, I would like to explain this with an example
When u marry the right person you are Complete
When you marry the wrong one you are Finished
The man replied, I would like to explain this with an example
When u marry the right person you are Complete
When you marry the wrong one you are Finished
Missing person : Its-hilarious
Missing person : Its-hilarious
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
The heavenly marriage : Its-hilarious
The heavenly marriage : Its-hilarious
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?
The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/
The heavenly marriage : Its-hilarious
The heavenly marriage : Its-hilarious
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?
The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.
St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8
http://www.its-hilarious.com/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)