Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

There are many reasons why pets are better than children. Go through the following list and decide for yourself.

- Eat less.

- Usually come when called.

- Are easier to train.

- Don't ask for money all the time.

- Don't drink or smoke.

- Don't hang out with friends who use drugs.

- Never ask to drive the car.

- Don't have to have the latest fashions.

- Don't want to wear your clothes.

- Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and

- If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

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About Marriage! : Its-hilarious

About Marriage! : Its-hilarious

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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What you see is not what you get : Its-hilarious

What you see is not what you get : Its-hilarious

Women Friends chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

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Marriage or jail : Its-hilarious

Marriage or jail : Its-hilarious

A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight." http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

What did you have in mind? : Its-hilarious

What did you have in mind? : Its-hilarious

A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, "That`s not quite what I had in mind."

Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects his offer, "That`s not quite what I had in mind."

Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"
She retorts, "I`d like a divorce."

He answers, "I hadn`t planned on spending quite that much."

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women need many choices for everything : Its-hilarious

women need many choices for everything : Its-hilarious

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a

woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit
the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you
may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go
up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building !!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men
have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs
and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs,
love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks,
but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men
have jobs, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and
help with the housework "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly
stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These
men have jobs, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous,
help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please! Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

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sell your own husband : Its-hilarious

sell your own husband : Its-hilarious

Husbands For Sale

Anne put an advertisement in the 'classifieds' : Husband Wanted. Next day Anne received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing : You can have mine. More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Q: Why dogs don't marry? : Its-hilarious

Q: Why dogs don't marry? : Its-hilarious

Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! More on: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8

Can you believe it???

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Bedspread for bachelors!

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Husband of the year!

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Waiting for autmn in art gallery : Its-hilarious

Waiting for autmn in art gallery : Its-hilarious

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.

The wife asks: "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies: "Autumn

No good men but only confused women : Its-hilarious

No good men but only confused women : Its-hilarious

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousyhusbands.

This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.

Miss her, pity her : Its-hilarious

Miss her, pity her : Its-hilarious

What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?

Miss her. Pity her.

Have you ever paid for sex : Its-hilarious

Have you ever paid for sex : Its-hilarious

A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.

"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time."

Who finds me attractive?

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Evils of Alcohol : Its-hilarious

Evils of Alcohol : Its-hilarious

JOKE Evils of Alcohol ! Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water and another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms." More on: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8 http://www.its-hilarious.com/ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918

Pill can make you fly : Its-hilarious

Pill can make you fly : Its-hilarious

"A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.

As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.

The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, ""You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman"""

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Watching a real horror movie!

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Women thoughts before buying!

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