Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

Why Pets Are Better Than Children? : Its-hilarious

- Eat less.

- Usually come when called.

- Are easier to train.

- Don't ask for money all the time.

- Don't drink or smoke.

- Don't hang out with friends who use drugs.

- Never ask to drive the car.

- Don't have to have the latest fashions.

- Don't want to wear your clothes.

- Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and

- If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

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Why do women cry!!!

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Why did you come home? : Its-hilarious

Why did you come home? : Its-hilarious

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

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Husbands, lawn mowers? : Its-hilarious

Husbands, lawn mowers? : Its-hilarious

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

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Is this her first child? : Its-hilarious

Is this her first child? : Its-hilarious

A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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The Lord turns on the light for me. : Its-hilarious

The Lord turns on the light for me. : Its-hilarious

An elderly couple go to their doctor for a checkup.

The man goes in first. "How're you doing?" asks the doctor. "Pretty good," answers the old man.

"I'm eating well, and I'm still in control of my bowels and bladder. In fact, when I get up at night to pee, the good Lord turns the light on for me."

The doctor decides not to comment on that last statement, and goes into the next room to check on the man's wife. "How're you feeling?" he asks. "I'm doing well," answers the old woman. "I still have lots of energy and I'm not feeling any pain."

The doctor says, "That's nice. It sounds like you and your husband are both doing well.

One thing though - your husband said that when he gets up to pee at night, the good Lord turns the light on for him. Do you have any idea what he means?" "Oh No," says the woman, "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."

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I can climb anything!

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Is there life after death?

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S O M E T I M E S : Its-hilarious

S O M E T I M E S : Its-hilarious

Sometimes.... when you cry.. no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain... no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried... no one sees your stress. Sometimes.. when you are happy... no one sees your smile. But FART !! just ONE friggin' time..... And everybody knows!! Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories More on: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/funny-hilarious-jokes/id492166165?ls=1&mt=8 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-hilariouscom/193947747290918